blogs, that is. if you even pretend to read my musings and want to continue, go ahead and point you browser over to the new one. or, if you're a fan of google reader, like i am, feel free to update your feed. just to entice you to do so, there's some really juicy news posted over that way, in honor of my first post on the new one.
sixteen days ago, I left with one of my best friends, josh, to hike 65
miles in the backcountry of Montana's Glacier National Park. no power,
no fire, no phone, no internet. just us. in God's abundantly beautiful
creation. I would walk you through the trip, but surely that might
bore you to tears and you'd never read my posts again. and I
definitely don't want that. so, a big picture type overview will have
to suffice.
there was singing. lots of loud, most assuredly off-key, singing. I
loved that part the best. I can imagine David in his pastures doing
the same - just singing at the top of his lungs about how amazing God
is to have made all this. we didn't need fancy technology or lyric
sheets - we just made it up as we went. perhaps that's more of what
God wants from us...
and there was silence. a completely natural silence that contains all
of what God has been whispering my whole life. but I've been too busy
to stop and listen. no dogs barking or air conditioners or planes or
cars or other people. just us and God. and for the first time I felt
like I was really listening.
and there were mountains, glaciers, snow storms, goats, bears, deer
and flowers. can I describe it all? I wouldn't do it a bit of
justice. check out rady's picasa for a ton of pics:
http://picasaweb.google.com/mmrady
I'll get mine up soon, when we have power again.
josh told me this trip would change my life. I half-believed him. but
it's true. I can't be the same now... the answers i sought didn't come
like I thought they would, in huge moments of unforgettable clarity;
but rather almost as recollections of something I've known the whole
time, but have been too distracted to notice.
and now, we have no power. 7 days and counting. I miss running the
garbage disposal (because the kitchen is funky) and I miss my wife's
cooking, but the rest I don't miss all that much. I like reading by
candlelight and roasting marshmallows in my living room and chatting
with my wife instead of watching tv. I will, however, never take ice
for granted again. mad props to all our friends who have fed us or
loaned us internet, power and water for laundry. we love you all. what
an adventure this break has been. and now, a poem excerpt:
endless invention, endless experiment
brings knowledge of motion, but not of
stillness
knowledge of speech, but not of silence.
knowledge of words, but ignorance of
the Word.
where is the life we have lost in the
living?
where is the wisdom we have lost in the
knowledge?
- T.S. Elliot, "choruses from the
rock
-neil
in classic, list format, here is what's been coursing through my mind
lately:
- finishing up my thesis quarter and looking forward to a nice long
break. don't really know how I'm going to finish my thesis in the time
I have left...
- haven't figured out how to use our new d80 yet, but I'm looking
forward to that, as well.
- the furnace and central ac project is drawing to an end,
thankfully!!! all that's left is to get it inspected by the city and
we can clean up our basement.
- we have only 11 weeks (ish) until our son is born. it still seems so
surreal, that I am a father. I feel like I have so far to go to become
the man I need to be...
- movies:
- grace is gone is a great movie full of
sadness and hope. the
cinematography draws you into the
story and makes you feel the pain
and loss that surrounds them.
- 3:10 to yuma was no tombstone. I
expected redemption and passion, but
was, for the most part, met with
only six shooters and poor character
development.
- music:
- still stuck on the phenomenal
"albertine". brooke fraser has much to
say and we should listen
- phil wickham shows us what a
terriffic worship leader he is in
"singalong". i love the abandon with
which he writes, sings and plays...
-jon foreman continues to amaze me
with the three seasonal ep's I have so
far. at first, I was skeptical, but his
songwriting is unabashedly honest and
heart-warming. it's mellow and
longing and hopeful and sad - full of
everything we, as broken people, are.
- been thinking lately that the amount of production that is put into
times of worship may actually hurt my ability to enter into/lead
worship. I don't want to be just another over-produced megachurch. I
yearn for the simple worship that explores the condition of my heart,
which is, most certainly not as "all together" as our gatherings. I
still don't quite know what I mean here, so I hope I don't make phil
or ethan too mad...
- my glacier adventure with josh starts in 4 days. I'm turning the
phone off, packing a backpack and spending 9 days basking in God's
majestic creation. I need to take a long respite from my life as I
know it and reevaluate my priorities. it's well-timed, as nowadays I'm
hard-pressed to actually define my priorities and floundering to be a
man after God's heart. I can't wait to share such things with my son...
- good books are nice. being with my wife in starbucks, as she enjoys
a good book also, is so wonderfully relaxing.
I'm going to stop there....see you on the other side of montana.
-neil
this is an actual conversation i overheard in the hall just now:
dude 1: i spent $50 on drinks at the bar on Friday. man.
dude 2: man, i spent over $200 this weekend, between drinks at the bars, cases during the day and taxis.
dude 1: i figure you only live once...
me (in my head): sweet! and at the end of your life, all you'll have is a long list of bar tabs and drunken nights...
i am so glad God saved me from that life - but seriously, as much as i want to sit here and be self-righteously appalled at how people waste their lives, am i that much different? would i spend all my time on things that only appear less frivolous: tv shows, blog sites, movies? none of these things are inherently bad, but is that all i have to offer at the end of a day, or a month, or a week for all the time and money i've been given? i hope not...
so, thanks, dude 1 and dude 2 for making me think about the value of my life objectively. i hope someday, you do, too...
God does not give us overcoming life, He gives us life as we
overcome. the strain of life is what gives us strength.
- oswald chambers
-neil
> neil's bachelor Sunday:
>
> number donuts consumed - 2
> number tim horton's breakfast
> sandwiches - 1
> number trader joe's tacquitos - 7
> number pizza rolls - 20 ish
> handfuls of cheese balls - more than 1
> less than ten
> number fruits/vegetables - 0
>
> awesome. sorry, mom, I don't think any of that stuff is gluten free.
>
>
> -neil
have you ever had a phrase from a book or article just kind of embed itself in your mind? that happens to me quite often, but i usually forget about it within 24 hours. or after i sleep, whichever comes first. so, if one sticks with me, i pay attention. last night, i was reading "blessed child" by ted dekker, one of my favorite fiction authors. he wrote:
that was a slower life, one in which you could breathe and consider the sourceso, this morning, i did just that. instead of jumping right into my list of things to do today, i took my time getting up (despite the noisy construction on my street), made myself breakfast, read and breathed. it's really nice. i should do this more often - i think God made us to need it...
